Let me begin with my story. Last night Red (My husbands new name, which he shall be known here on out) was home for the evening from business. We made dinner together, cleaned up, he bathed Rowdy and got him snug in his bed, and I wasn't quite as tired as most normal nights since I had more help than a nrmal night around here.
I sat infront of the couch, because I love to sit on the floor in front of my couch. Next time I'll just buy a wall. Anyhow, Red came over, sat behind me on the couch, he likes to sit on the couch, he started giving me a back rub. Oh, Ooh, did my ever pregnant back need a back rub. Have I ever mentioned Red gives REALLY great backrubs? Well, he started to slow down, almost like he was going to stop, I shifted and showed him another problem of my ever pregnant ever painful back. He rubbed a little bit more, squoze a boob and continued to rub my back for another good long while. He started to stop, and I let him know there was another problem area.
I was literally in heaven. My back hasn't felt so nice in weeks. All my kinks were slowly being worked out. And then he stopped, sighed a big old sigh, and announced "I'm going to bed, you're ignoring all my Man-Signals." and with that he walked down the hall.
WHAT!! You mean he wasn't rubbing my back because I am carrying his second baby while caring for and nurturing his first? He wasn't rubbing my back because he felt sorry I'm pregnant and I'm probably going to get more stretch marks!? He didn't give Rowdy a bath and get him to bed early because he felt so bad for me for having to do that most nights all on my own, and wanted me to have a break? He didn't help me with dinner and the dishes, because he knows my feet get sore by 5 p.m.? Those were all MAN-SIGNALS for sex?
How could this be possible that I didn't read the MAN-SIGNALS all night? That he was really were buttering me up for some passion between the bed sheets? Is my brain really pregnant cloudy mush?
And get this, when I tried to play it cool, like I'm a regular Rico-Suave, he read right through me.
What's a girl to do? Tell me, would you have made my same mistake? Would you have been smarter than me? Would you have understod Red and known his outgoing signals? Please, I'm very interested to hear?
I offered to give him a back rub....with his shirt off.
5 comments:
That is hilarious. Poor Red (perfect name for him, by the way)! Apparently my Female Signals for a date go unnoticed and unread. It's either that (when I actually like a guy) or freaks (that frighten me) misinterpret HUMAN DECENCY for flirting and believe my politeness equates to "signals" that really aren't there.
It is a wonder ANYONE is every conceived. Seriously!
I would have thought the same thing as you. Guess my "man signals" are more forward. However, it doesn't seem to be that way when I make the advances...men are even more clueless when the roles are turned.
Oh, I TOTALLY would have known! Those are ALWAYS Tyler's "Man-Signals"! If he ever does those things I know it's because he wants something and I'll be honest, I'm so grateful for the help, he usually gets it!
Funny post! Hope you're hanging in there! Too bad we're not still neighbors...we could be housewife widows together!
That is too funny. I would have died if Andrew rubbed my back. He never has and probably never will. His excuse, "I don't know what I am doing. I could hurt you." Whatever! He just doesn't want to. And we just come out and ask for it. No hinting around it. OR my favorite just going for the kill!
hehehehehehe this is funny.
I sent him a text yesterday in hopes of helping you get your strap. ;)
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