I've got issues.

Whenever I know there is a lot on my plate, it's like I turn into this slow-poke sloth.

I literally stop moving, or move in super slow motion.

I have a ton to do and little time to do it in.

And yet I sit.

I sit comfortably with no desire to get up and going.

Why?

I'm just not sure.

One of many.

There is a reality that comes with motherhood. It's not always glorious, and sometimes you long for some serenity.

It really is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get.

Gosh it must have been about a month or so ago.

I wasn't able to shower. It was a hard month, I cried a lot, and I laughed a lot
to keep myself from crying.

Rowdy was helping to intitiate me into being a mom of a toddler and he did it all within about a two week period.

I came out of the shower and this is what I found.



I took a few pictures.



Sent Rowdy to his bedroom.



Sent myself to my bedroom, so nobody would get hurt.

Pretty sure I cried.....Really hard.



Emerged from my bedroom and vaccuumed up this mess for the umpteeth time.



Now to Rowdy's credit he was in time out for almost a week straight. He's done a lot better since then. And so have I. This one was so hard for me. I literally couldn't leave him alone for more than three minutes, because some disasterous scale of a mess would occur. I really wanted to trade in the badges of motherhood that week.

We both learned a big lesson.

You can call me Frenchie!

Is it true french women don't shave their pits?


Last week was pretty stressful, we had a million plus doctors appointments for both of the boys, the hubster was getting ready to go to work and need all of his laundry clean, I had Rowdy's swim lessons twice a week, we just got back from an overnighter and I had the young men in the ward over for a cooking activity, and now that I think of it it may have been two weeks ago. But, what I'm getting at is that sometimes when you're a mom you and your priorities take the back seat.

This was one of those weeks. I shower every day and when we swim I shower after lessons in the locker room. And I don't shave in those showers because we are always just in a hurry and so we just shower to get clean.

I'm not sure how it happened but when Saturday morning I pulled off my top and got ready to get in the shower and Oh My Hell! I looked so beyond french. I was embarrassed for myself. My pits were so longs. YUCK!

I showered.
I shaved.

I got out and asked the hubster why on earth he didn't tell me about my pits joining the french revolution. He had some lame answer like "it didn't bother me, I like you whatever way you come."

I can assure you I have been paranoid about my pits ever since.

GROSS!

Are you a good witch or a bad witch?

Que the voices from Munchkin Land. And, then switch witch for MOM.

Today was a harder day.....That's how thing are going to be I think. Well, at least for the next year. I'm not gonna lie it's tough having two babies. I'm surviving this. Especially the surviving part when Red is away for work.

I've decided my days get new rankings, which are appropriate for now. I have "Good days" which are pretty smooth and not to many fits and my babies needed me at seperate times. I also get to shower and do my hair.

I have "Better days" where there are literally no fits and if there are the hubby-roni is around to have them directed at him. I get showered, hair done, teeth brushed, legs shaved, and the dark rings under my eyes only slightly resemble a crystal meth user.

I have "hard days" the hubb-a-roo would be gone. I get a shower, but nthing else done. There is a significant amount of fits and whining. I only have to take one Motrin for a squealing induced headache. Baby 1 and 2 both seem to need everything at the same time.

And then there are "harder days" The hubster is still gone, I have terrible breath, dark rings under my eyes that say I'm doing hard core drugs, even though I'm most certainly sleep deprived and not high. I haven't showered since yesterday, by the evening I've taken my third Motrin for a screaming and squealing induced headache. All day long baby 1 adn 2 needed everything, plus my attention all damn day long. When I think abut my day I can smell poopy diapers even though they are all outside in the garbabge, I vaguely remember eating but I can assure you my babies have eaten all day long.

For whatever reason the Lord thinks I'm one hell of a woman because he has given me a few harder days as of latley. However I'm grateful because Mother's day wasn't one of those days. I'm pretty sure I don't want to be one hell of a woman today. And probably not tomorrow either.

If Only.

Some days are good, and some days are bad.

I have my fair share of each.

I have those days where I wish I could sleep the day away.

I have those days where I'm amazed at the things I've accomplished.

I have my good, my bad, and my ugly.

Then I have those days where I think "If only I had her life"

Today is one of those days.

Tonight I feel guilty

We got a new wood burning stove, and its a super nice addition to our home.

My hubby has a slight obsession with this stove, maybe its hereditary, but Rowdy has also become fascinated.

The stove sits on a brick platform in the corner of the living room.

We've really kept after Rowdy for touching or climbing on the bricks.

The things we've tried...

Saying no loudly
Pulling him away and distracting him with something else
Smacking his hand and saying "NO"

Well Rowdy is really fast, and there was a fire burning away in the stove, and I had to pee, so I got up to pee and when I was done I came back and guess what?.....

Rowdy had climbed on the bricks and was headed for the stove! Instead of snapping a picture and later blogging about it I picked up my baby and spanked his butt. We had drama for quite a while. What a rough day for him.

Now I feel guilty because this is the first time he's gotten spanked. I'm not quite sure how else to get the point across that will let him know how serious it is.

I'm sure the guilt will go away.

Any advice from you other mom's and not-yet-mom's out there?

Staring the week with some big news

Alrighty, some of you might have guessed it. That's right, we're getting ready for baby boy #2. Yep, we already know he's a boy.

Let me start from the beginning. Rowdy was just sixish-sevenish months old and I woke up one night with the worst case of dry feet you have ever experienced. A sensation that I haven't felt since I was pregnant. The thought crossed my mind and I knew I needed a pregnancy test.

I took the test and low-and-behold it was so positive, so I took two more....Why was I so surprised? Well, for starters I have
P.C.O.S. A condition that requires help to conceive a baby. With Rowdy we tried for nearly eighteen months, we had a lot of tears and a lot of frustration, and a lot of fun (if you know what I mean).

So this go around, we decided that birth control was just something extra to worry about. Boy were we ever wrong. Trying to get pregnant the first time I had to take a monthly medley of three different medications and that was lasted forever long. We also had to make a commitment to not go on vacation, take ovulation tests, and buckle down and be serious. Since my doctor wasn't in favor of us wasting his time and going back and forth on whether or not we really wanted a baby. So, when we started treatment, we had to schedule our lives around it for eighteen months. Not so much fun, but we got what we wanted out of it in the end.

Of course we would think that we wouldn't need to do birth control. But as luck would have it I was breast feeding and my body was making hormones that my body normally is very deficient in. So with my hormones all haywire my body decided that she's still in baby making mode, since hormones are what we needed to get our first baby.

Let me just say I really wanted more space between children, because I am not that much of a woman to handle a newborn and a fourteen month old. Anyhow I have to suck up my plans once again (That's another story for another time). I wasn't thrilled but as time has passed I've gotten better and better with the idea.

As with our last baby we waited extra long to tell all of our family, and friends. So now it out and all of you my blogging buddies know. Wheww!

I'm just going to throw this out there....you all may have think that I run late now, just you wait. You don't even know the meaning of late yet!

For more on P.C.O.S check this out- http://women.webmd.com/tc/polycystic-ovary-syndrome-pcos-topic-overview

I only hope and pray

I've been really relaxed with Tally, because you see, she's had four babies recently, she currently is lactating for four babies, and she technically is eating to support five.


I've been really nice to her, nice because in six short weeks I'll be selling her babies for money, this saddens me, because my heart breaks for her. She is such a good sweet mama and I know her little heart will break. I've let her sleep on the couch and really live up to the whole "lap dog" title. I give her an extra treat here and there. I've even gone as far as giving her a piece of cheese now and then just for the hell of it, really it more for my own guilt.

I'm totally going to have to un-spoil her when these puppies go.

One of the reasons I feel so bad for her is because:


























Her nipples look like this!!!!


I can only hope and pray that when I am done having kids and nursing babies, neither of my nipples will look a thing like those!!!! Please someone reassure me that nipples don't go that haywire after all your babies are done with you.

I really don't want to have nipple nightmares!

YIKES!

He's Baaaack!

My little dude is 100% back. He's been doing just fine today, causing trouble with the night light in the hallway that is oh so tempting to him. Chasing Scooter every time she lays down and gets comfortable.

And most of all getting himself into "pickles," that's right my little guy is notorious for getting to places where ha can't figure how to get down. We do this one all day long. He gets up and stays up till he wants down (twenty minutes or so) or is to tired to hang on anymore. An I have to try to help him work his way down.

It's getting old very fast. Any ideas?

Oh yeah, by the way I have a real live late night date on Saturday night. If anyone is up for the challenge (and I do mean "challenge") I would love to have a baby sitter.

Any offers?

Windex Anyone?

We would be wise to invest.

Please no comments about my baby wearing shorts in the middle of winter. It was Daddy's day to get him dressed.

Yucky!

I was helping my hubby down stairs and I came up the stairs and this is what I saw...

I ran downstairs and I grabbed my hubby and the camera, and we snapped a few pics, and we chuckled to ourselves.

Then we said "What are you doing?"

Then I'm sure he thought "Dammit I'm caught red-handed!"

Disclaimer-all dog chow was taken out of his mouth, the mess was cleaned up and so was the baby....Let's all hope this crime isn't committed again.

Insomnia and Rambling

So I am sitting here at the computer and everyone in my house is asleep except for me, I am really enjoying this alone time not feeding, entertaining, or cleaning up after anyone. I can't sleep, and I haven't been able to sleep for quite some time now. I've turned into one of those crazy insomniac people. Well....except for the "crazy" part.

My problem might be because I am moving over the next month. This will be the fourth move in four four years for our little family. My mind brings this little subject up front and center every time it is time to fall asleep, so here I am doing whatever I can to avoid thinking about changing wards and packing and unpacking and rearranging furniture and sentences with to many "ands" and not enough commas.

This place where we are moving is only three miles from Cowboys work, which is so much better than the eighty-some-odd mile we live away from his work right now. It's also going to be hunting heaven for him. you can have a deer and an elk tag at the same time, and hunt for them at the same time as well. If you're an avid hunter then where we are moving is a very special place! The entire population of the the state is 500,000 people, the deer, elk and antelope population is 700,000. We are going to have a very tall staircase where Cowboy will want to hang a very dead caribou head with very big, very dead antlers. I will want to hide that trophy in the basement. Don't tell him I said that.

I'm a bit nervous, most of the women in the area where I am moving have hair bigger than I've ever seen, and I have seen some very big hair. I also have all of my teeth and no tattoos. Yikes! I'm going to stick out like a sore thumb. There are no craft stores and I will have to make a commute to do any department store shopping. And good hell, they don't even have any chain restaurants. How can I move to a place where the local demolition derby has more food choices than the town itself.

Now, I know I have a little bit of redneck and maybe a dash of white trash in me, but I just don't think I'm going to feel at home for quite some time. The hardest part for me is this isn't like I'm going to be moving away for a few years and then coming back, I'm moving away and every time I come back I will be visiting. I won't be a spur of the moment, drop by unannounced visitor anymore. I'm going to have to plan, and maybe even plan in advance.

Come September you may notice my blog could very well turn into a roller coaster of my emotions. I'm glad I got this all off my chest for the night. I feel better . Thanks for not judging me. Amen.

"Danger"

It should have been his middle name. If I'd have had my way it would have been his middle name.

There are more sons to be had, and I'll have my way some day.

I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again....So, i'll leave you with some random tidbits.

-This is how my baby is when he is awake, he usually has his mouth open and his toungue goes in and out like a lizard.


-He has pooped eight times in the last three days and i hav changed seven out of eight.

-I wonder what color his eyes will be, any ideas?


-I love a good fart! I always have and I always will.

-I spy with my little eye...... lassie in the tall branches of this tree!


-When I think of Dr. Pepper, I think YUMMO. Rock on Dr.Pepper lovers, Rock On!

-This is Cowboys goat, his name is Titus


-My car just went to Subaru Heaven, I had her for one month. Sad.

-This is my goat. his name is Senior Jorge The Mexican.


-I have followed a daytime soap opera for as long as I can remember, only my closest friends and family know this about me, and I will never reveal which one because I am deeply ashamed. If you ask me about it I will agree with you about how trashy daytime tv is and I will deny watching a soap till the day I die.

-I recently started taking Buckaroo for a walk every day...I know, I should have started exercising about a month ago.


-Posting three times in one day is a record for me.

-This is my first car wreck, my neck and back still haven't recovered.


-I love gas station nachos with extra jalepenos

-This was "Lassie" When she was a puppy, she is the best dog!


-I love pedicures

-"Lassie" really loves our baby.


-I say live, and let live.

-These three ladies are usually waiting for us every day when we go out for our walk.


-I am a chronic list maker.

-Look close, these two moms each have two nursing babies, I thought I had it bad.


-I just discovered I love nursing, I have even pondered the thought of nursing buckaroo until I get pregnant with another baby. That freaked Cowboy right out.

-Sometimes I think "Why Organic?" I want pesticides and I want preservatives and I want everything that doesn't have anything to do with wholesome goodness!

-Alrighty I will be back in just over a week, I will miss you all and I can't wait to catch up. Take care and ciao.

Tribute: To The Cranky Bottom Boys

Cowboy, I'm sorry you had such a long day at work. I know your tired and hungry and cranky. I wish I could help you. I love you anyways.

Lil' Buckaroo, I love you and I feed you and I rock you to sleep, and when you wake up I understand that you are often times ready for a new face or someone different than me. I wish I could help you. I love you anyways.

Cranky bottom boys, I sure do wish that you both could get the sleep you need and wake up happy and sweet.

Aaahhh!! But I have found the answer. You both must take a nap together, this is mandatory, and I will go file my finger nails, and mask my face, and shave my legs and feel like a woman for a moment in time.

Thank you for being so willing to do as I command. Now if only you two can return the favor and make me take a mandatory nap someday I would be much obliged!

Who does he look like?

WARNING: This could quite possibly be offensive, viewer discretion is advised


I had a recent conversation with my mom and she said if I posted this people could/would/should think I am cruel and totally unusual to poke fun of my baby like I do.

Here is my disclaimer within a matter of just about 20 days my Lil' Buckaroo has chunked up 2 pounds, this is no big deal normally, but when your only 23 inches long it makes a big difference. His weight has gone to his cheeks and they are so much fun to kiss! Anyways, back to the matter he is also losing his hair in a male-pattern-baldness sort of a fashion. It is still growing and present on the sides and in the back. However, on the top it is disappearing faster than the glaciers from global warming.

Take a look, here is the man of the hour, you can kinda see his male pattern baldness and his cheeks are pretty puffy in this picture.


Now, answer me this. WHo does he resemble more?


Could it be Spencer W. Kimball (My mom's suggestion, she is way sweeter than me, I came up with the next ones all on my own)



Yoda, the Jedi Master




Or this sweet puppy that I will bring home to Cowboy when he least expects it and we can have a lassie repeat all over again(Long story I'll fill you all in someday).



Please do tell me your thoughts.....AM I a horrible mother, will I go to hell for my disturbing thoughts, who does my baby look like?

Where the heck are my priorities?

"Lassie" is the spunkiest most fun dog I have ever crossed paths with.
She has a way of getting to people, even if you don't like dogs you'll like her.

She loves to jump! She has always been a jumper, just hold up a stick or a toy, even a tree branch will do!

Did I mention she also loves to climb? She will climb whatever, or whomever is available to climb, she loves her perch and being up high.

We have this tree in the backyard, it's huge, and it's high. Have I mentioned that Lassie loves to jump climb and be very, very high. She's pretty much fearless. In this house size is not an issue.

We have a spiral staircase in our family room, she will climb to the top and rest there, while soaking in the view, enjoying her perch where she can get a bird's eye view of everything...I guess it would be a dog's eye view...whatever

Have I mentioned that Lassie LOVE LOVE LOVES Lil' Buckaroo! She adores him and follows him as many places as she can.

Imagine my surprise when I walk into his room and find this:



She couldn't help herself, those damned bumper pads just block any hope of a view she might have! Did I mention this canine can jump? climb? get wherever the heck she wants!!

Controversial....maybe. I should have gotten her out of there just as soon as I saw her, but I just had to get a picture! Heaven Help Me!! What kind of a mom am I?

I've debated for days about putting these pictures up, and I figure I just need to tell it like it is!

Please don't judge me...I'm just staying honest!

I have a distant memory of being concerned that Lassie wouldn't accept Buckaroo. WHEWW! Glad I can put that out of my mind!! Now I need to worry about my priorities being in order...... Wait, what priorities?

I don't buy it!

Have you ever heard the one where they say man has evolved, and he was once a primate, who walked on all fours and learned to walk upright and build fire and invent the wheel, and drive fords pickups, and hunt beautiful creatures with firearms and all sorts of things.

Well my friends I tell you its not true any of it, I am a living breathing testament telling you don't believe what they tell you!

If it was true Cowboy would be sitting up to this lovely computer at the lovely hour of 2 a.m. with a nursing pillow wrapped around his waist and our sweet lil' buckaroo sucking on his hot pair MAN BOOBS, and his ears would have burned with that primal instinct that doesn't let him sleep through the night, and he would wake up when the child cries, or breathes different or squirms in his sleep. Well, Cowboy lays in our very soft, cozy warm bed, and he is sound asleep, I don't think he even knows I have been up twice already. and when I suggest that he just try letting buckaroo suck on his teets, so he can experience that whole bonding thing everyone talks about He doesn't even laugh! I'm so serous when I say it too, I think I scare him sometimes.

In the next life I would like him to sport a pair of MAN BOOBS!

Evolution is crap!

Cowboy is lucky!

Update: Buckaroo slept from 3:30 a.m. till 8 a.m., this is a great day

Sorry I keep complaining about sleep, you see sleep is so crucial for me, without it I am a delirious wandering bear. It might be a genetic thing, but quite frankly, it may just be the very foundation of my being a decent human being. with as much as I've gotten last night I just might be helpful to the world....